# | eng | mlg |
---|
1 | What's Personal When You're Syrian? | Inona Momba Anao Manokana Moa Rehefa Siriana Ianao? |
2 | “They wanted to deny families the right to hate a regime that has killed, jailed and kidnapped their children.” | “Tian-dry zareo ho lavina ny zon'ny fianakaviana ho afaka mankahala ny fitondràna, izay namono olona, nampiditra am-ponja ary naka an-keriny ny zanak'izy ireo.” |
3 | A scene in Salaheddin, Aleppo, Syria. | Ny endri-javatra ao Salaheddin, Aleppo, Syria. |
4 | PHOTO: Freedom House (CC BY 2.0). | SARY : Freedom House (CC BY 2.0). |
5 | This post is part of a special series of articles by blogger and activist Marcell Shehwaro, describing the realities of life in Syria during the ongoing armed conflict between forces loyal to the current regime, and those seeking to oust it. | Ity lahatsoratra ity dia ampahany amin'ireo andian-dahatsoratra manokana nosoratan'ilay bilaogera sady mpikatroka mafàna fo, Marcell Shehwaro, namariparitany ny tena zava-nisy niainana tao Syria nandritry ny ady nitohy nifanaovan'ny tafika miara-dia amin'ny fitondràna tamin'ireo izay mikatsaka ny hanongana azy. |
6 | I see my psychotherapist on a weekly basis, without any of the feelings of shame widespread in our society regarding this practice. | Isankerinandro dia mijery ny mpitsabo saina manara-maso ahy aho, tsy mahamenatra ahy ny milaza izany na eo aza ny fomba fisaina miparitaka be momba io fanao io ao anatin'ny fiarahamoninay. |
7 | But I have a barrel of guilt inside me that is wearing away what is left of the love of life in my heart. | Saingy mitondra enta-mavesatra be ao anatiko ao aho, izay mikiky ny kely sisa mba fitiavana fiainana tavela tao am-poko. |
8 | Wednesday at noon is the time I steal away from work to talk about almost everything in life. | Ny Alarobia mitatao vovonana no mba fotoana kely angalariko amin'ny asako hiresahana ny zavatra rehetra eo amin'ny fiainana. |
9 | At the end of the session, the psychotherapist tells me: “But you don't talk about anything personal.” And I am taken by surprise, overtaken by the silly desire always to appear that I am right, or gain the upper hand in any argument (as a close friend tells me I always do), to show my therapist that he is wrong. | Any amin'ny faran'ny fotoana, hoy ilay mpitsabo saina mantsy ahy : “Fa toa tsy miresaka zavatra manokana momba anao mihitsy ianao” Dia taitra tampoka aho, voasongon'ilay faniriako kidaladala hiseho foana ho manana ny marina, na tompon'ny teny farany amin'izay resaka atao (tahàka ny nolazain'ilay namako akaiky ahy hoe izany foana no ataoko), mba hampiseho amin'ilay mpitsabo fa hoe diso izy. |
10 | I fail! | Tsy tafa aho! |
11 | I am not sure exactly what constitutes “personal” and “public” in a Syrian's normal existence. | Tsy dia tena haiko tsara hoe inona no mandrafitra ny “anao manokana” sy ny “an'ny daholobe” ao anatin'ny fiainana manaraka ny fenitra Siriana. |
12 | My friends are the friends of resistance-our lives are intertwined as a result of prison and escape and the memory of our martyred friend. | Namana avy amin'ny fanohehana ireo namako-mifamatotra ny fiainanay vokatry ny fiainana tany am-ponja sy ny fandosirana ary ny fahatsiarovana ireo namanay lasa maritiora. |
13 | The only person left in my family that I am in touch with is my sister, who was forced to be displaced for security reasons related to me. | Ny hany fianakaviako sisa mbola ifandraisako dia ny anabaviko, izay noterena hifindra toerana noho ny antony fandriampahalemana misy ifandraisany amiko. |
14 | Her displacement is part of the Syrian hemorrhage to the rest of the world. | Ampahany amin'ny fandosiran'ireo Siriana mankany amin'izao tontolo izao ny fifindràny toerana. |
15 | My work is a continuation of the coordination for the revolution. | Fitohizan'ny fandrindràna ny revolisiona ny asa ataoko. |
16 | And even my attire reflects my gender in meetings in which I betray my right, as a woman, to appear more serious according to general society norms. | Ary na ny fitàfiko aza dia mampiseho ny maha-vehivavy ahy any anatin'ireo fivoriana izay andehanako mifanohitra amin'ny zoko, amin'ny maha-vehivavy ahy, miseho ho matotra kokoa mifanaraka amin'ny fenitra ankapobeny apetraky ny fiarahamonina. |
17 | Or perhaps it is the opposite: a reflection of my freedom in the face of inexcusable interference in women's privacy. | Na angamba mifanohitra amin'izay: taratry ny fahalalahako manoloana ny fitsabatsabahana tsy azo leferina amin'ny fiainana manokan'ny vehivavy. |
18 | My body? | Ny vatako? |
19 | I am not sure whether I love it or not. | Tsy haiko tsara na tiko na tsia izy io. |
20 | It is part of my beliefs that beauty comes in different sizes, contrary to the media's uniform categorisation of what beauty is supposed to be. | Isan'ny zavatra iray ao anatin'izay inoako ny hoe miseho aminà habe maro samihafa ny hatsaràna, mifanohitra amin'izay fanasokajiana marindrano heverin'ny media ho hatsaràna. |
21 | I live in a town I don't know how to make peace with. | Miaina anaty tanàna iray izay tsy vitako ifampiraharahàna akory aho. |
22 | It is the closest to Syria and the most workable among the choices available. | Izy no akaiky indrindra an'i Siria ary ny azo iasàna indrindra amin'ireo safidy azo raisina eo anoloana. |
23 | My feelings towards it are irrelevant when it comes to “the greater good of the cause.” | Tsy hita ho lazaina ny fihetsehampoko ho azy io rehefa injay hiresaka “ny halehibeazan'ny fahatsaran'ny tolona.” |
24 | All that I read is about the revolution or the revolutions of others, and sometimes about their wars-my current fixation, for example, is reading about the Lebanese civil war. | Izay rehetra vakiako dia momba ny revolisiôna avokoa na ny revolisionan'ny hafa, ary indraindray momba ny adin-dry zareo-ny hevitra ifikirako ankehitriny, ohatra, dia ny famakiana ny tantaran'ny ady an-trano Libaney. |
25 | All that I write is about the revolution and how it rages inside me. | Izay rehetra soratako dia momba ny revolisiôna sy ny haromotany ao anatiko ao. |
26 | Some time ago I went out on a date with a man. He started the conversation, perhaps to appease me, by asking if I knew whether the Geneva III talks will be held soon. | Fotoana vitsy lasa izay aho nandeha nivoaka nifanao fotoana taminà lehilahy iray. Natombony ny resaka, angamba mba hanamaivamaivana ahy, tamin'ny fanontaniana raha toa ka efa fantatro hoe hanomboka ato ho ato ny dinika Geneva III. |
27 | I had forgotten what it is like to meet someone normal and talk about normal things. | Adinoko mihitsy hoe ahoana moa izany mihaona aman'olona sy miresaka zavatra araka ny tokony ho izy izany. |
28 | I don't even know the latest songs, except for the revolutionary songs produced over the past five years. | Tsy fantatro akory aza izay hira nivoaka farany, afa-tsy ireo hiran'ny revolisiôna novokarina tato anatin'ny dimy taona. |
29 | There is nothing “personal” at all. | Tsy misy “momba ny tena manokana” izany mihitsy. |
30 | Even my disclosure, in the first paragraph, about going to a psychotherapist, is to encourage people like me to admit their depression. | Na dia ny famborahako, ao anatin'ny andàlana voalohany aza, momba ny fandehanako mijery dokotera mpitsabo saina, dia ho fandrisihana ireo olona tahàka ahy hiaiky ny rarin-tsainy. |
31 | It is a constructive disclosure. | Mitondra zava-tsoa ny famborahana. |
32 | There is an armed thug in my head and my happy thoughts are littered with bombs. | Misy jiolahimboto mitam-piadiana ao anaty lohako ao ary baomba no mandoto ireo eritreritra mba tsara ao anatiko. |
33 | A thousand checkpoints and snipers stop memories from flowing. | Toerana fisavàna miisa an'arivony sy mpikendry miafina no mibahana ny fahatsiarovako tsy hiraraka. |
34 | At the beginning of the revolution, Bashar Al Assad's supporters used to accuse us of saying that our opposition to the regime is “based on personal feelings.” | Tany am-piandohan'ny revolisiôna, nahazatra ireo mpomba an'i Bashar Al Assad ny niampanga anay tamin'ny filazàna hoe “miainga avy aminà fihetsehampo manokana” ny fanoheranay ny fitondràna. |
35 | They wanted to deny families the right to hate a regime that has killed, jailed and kidnapped their children. | Tian-dry zareo ho lavina ny zon'ny fianakaviana ho afaka mankahala ny fitondràna, izay namono olona, nampiditra am-ponja ary naka an-keriny ny zanak'izy ireo. |
36 | But how to disentangle the personal from the public in your animosity towards those who want to kill you just because you attempted to assert your personal and public rights? | Saingy ahoana no fomba hanavahana ny ampahany an'ny tena manokana sy ny an'ny daholobe ao anatin'ny habibianao manoloana ireo izay te-hamono anao fotsiny noho ny ezakao hametraka ny zonao manokana sy ny an'ny daholobe? |
37 | After this brainstorming session I can't be angry with my therapist, and I avoid his gaze. | Taorian'ity fotoana fampiasàna atidoha ity, tsy afaka ny ho tezitra tamin'ilay mpitsabo ahy aho, ary niezaka tsy hifanojo fijery taminy. |
38 | He is absolutely right: I have to stop my peaceful debate and confess that I am afraid of my personal thoughts. | Marina tanteraka ny azy: tsy maintsy manatsahatra ny adihevitra ampilaminako aho ary mibaboka fa ireo eritreritro manokana no atahorako. |
39 | I smile coyly, as I usually do, when he successfully overcomes my attempts at outsmarting him. | Nitsiky somary menamenatra aho, toy ny efa fanaoko, rehefa vitany ny nanodina ny fiezahako hamerivery azy. |
40 | He conquers all my attempts at pretending I am strong and all my dark sarcasm and elicits a true answer: | Tratrany daholo ireo ezaka nataoko mba hisehoako ho matanjaka ary namitaka ahy sy manome ny valiny tena izy ireo sangy ratsy nataoko: |
41 | Am I now beyond reflecting the revolution, instead reflecting the war and, like the war, full of disease and death? | Lasa tafahoatra any ambadiky ny fiheverana ny revolisiôna ve aho, raha tokony ho nisaina misimisy kokoa ny ady, toy ny ady feno aretina sy fahafatesana? |
42 | My feelings of guilt prevent me from screaming that a healthy revolution is first and foremost the work of healthy people. | Ny fiampangan-tena ato amiko no manakana ahy tsy ho afaka hikiaka hoe, voalohany indrindra ary tena izay mihitsy, asan'ny olona salama ny revolisiôna salama. |
43 | I am afraid of Marcell, of her loneliness, or her confused value compass, of her relationship with a God she used to turn to for everything before the war. | Atahorako i Marcell, ny fitokantokànany, ny fomba fijeriny misaritaka ny atao hoe soatoavina, ny fifandraisany aminà Andriamanitra iray izay nahazatra azy ny nitodika taminy tamin'ny zavatra rehetra talohan'ny ady. |
44 | I am afraid to meet her and become terrified. | Atahorako ny mihaona aminy ary lasa mihorohoro aho. |
45 | He asks me, for our next meeting, to look for personal spaces I can have fun in. | Mangataka ahy izy, ho an'ny fihaonanay manaraka, mba hitady toerana manokana ahafahako mifaly havanja. |
46 | I sense-and I am someone who loves challenges-that this may be one of the most difficult tasks I have to face this year. | Tsapako-sady olona tia fanamby aho-fa io no mety ho iray amin'ireo asa sarotra indrindra tsy maintsy hatrehako amin'ity taona ity. Momba ny tena manokana hoe? |
47 | Personal? Like what? | Tahàka ny inona ohatra? |