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1 | My Birthday | Ny Fitsingerenana'ny Andro Nahaterahako |
2 | “We did not blow out the candles because there was no electricity.” | “Tsy notsofinay ny labozia satria tsy nisy herinaratra.” |
3 | PHOTO: Joey Gannon via Wikimedia Commons | SARY : Joey Ganoon avy amin'ny Wikimedia Commons |
4 | This post is part of a special series of articles by blogger and activist, Marcell Shehwaro, describing the realities of life in Syria during the ongoing armed conflict between forces loyal to the current regime, and those seeking to oust it. | Ampahany amin'ny andiany manokana amin'ireo lahatsoratra nosoratan'ilay mpitoraka bilaogy sady mpikatroka mafana fo, Marcell Shehwaro, mitantara ny fiainana any Syria mandritra ny ady eo amin'ireo hery mpanohana ny fitondrana amin'izao fotoana izao sy ireo mitady ny hialàny ity lahatsoratra ity. |
5 | August 12, 2010 | 12 Aogositra 2010 |
6 | I open Facebook to find a birthday greeting. | Manokatra facebook aho mba hijery ny firariantsoa amin'ny fitsingerenan'ny andro nahaterahana. |
7 | I grasped the opportunity to return the greeting, making up for those three years in which I couldn't send him birthday wishes. | Nanararaotra ilay fotoana aho mba hamaliana ilay firariantsoa, sy hanonerana ireo telo taona izay tsy nahafahako nandefa firariantsoa ho azy noho ny fitsingerenan'ny andro nahaterahany. |
8 | Those were the three years he spent in prison for writing on the Internet. | Telo taona no nigadrany noho ny nanoratany tamin'ny aterineto. |
9 | I used to contribute to his site. | Nahazatra ahy ny nandray anjara tao amin'ny haban-tranonkalany. |
10 | It was called Akhawia. | Akhawia no anarany. |
11 | Karim Arabji is a beautiful friend. | Namana mahafinaritra i Karim Arabji. |
12 | For three years, I would play with my own birthday cake and blow out my candles, wishing him freedom and goodwill. | Nandritra ny telo taona, nilalao tamin'ny mofo mamin'ny fitsingerenan'ny andro nahaterahako aho sady nitsoka ny laboziako no maniry fahafahana sy zava-tsoa ho azy. |
13 | He was released from prison and I messaged him on Facebook. | Navoaka ny fonja izy ary nandefasako hafatra tamin'ny facebook. |
14 | I sent him birthday greetings in a formal manner which did not quite convey how happy I was that he was free. | Nandefasako firariantsoa tamin'ny fomba mihaja noho ny fitsingerenan'ny andro nahaterahany izy, firarian-tsoa izay tsy ampy nampita ny haben'ny hafaliako noho ny fahafahany. |
15 | And he reciprocated in a gentle way. | Ary novaliany tamim-panajana izany. |
16 | That was our last opportunity to celebrate Kareem, who died after leaving prison from a heart attack at the age of 33, leaving us wondering what horrors that heart had experienced, what had made it give up. | Izay no fotoana farany nankalazanay an'i Kareem. Maty noho ny aretim-po teo amin'ny faha-33 taonany rehefa tafavoaka ny fonja izy, ary mampanontany tena anay fa inona no fampihorohoroana niainan'ilay fo, inona no nampilavo lefona azy. |
17 | He left this world just before the revolution. | Nandao ity tany ity nialoha kely ny revolisiona izy. |
18 | My wishes were very personal. | Tena niavaka ireo firariantsoako. |
19 | Some concerned the possibility of travelling to America, my studies, love and life. | Nahakasika ny fahafahana mankany Amerika, ny fianarako, ny fitiavana ary ny fiainana ny sasany. |
20 | And I blew out the candles. | Ary notsofiko ny labozia. |
21 | August 12, 2011 | 12 Aogositra 2011 |
22 | Each year my mother would put the family into the birthday spirit for the occasion. | isan-taona, ho an'io andro io, apetraky ny reniko ao anatin'ny hafalian'ny fotoan'ny fitsingerenan'ny andro nahaterahana ny fianakaviana. |
23 | Nothing could convince her that we had grown up and might perhaps have preferred to celebrate our birthdays somewhere other than at home. | Tsy nisy afaka nandresy lahatra azy mihitsy hoe efa lehibe izahay ary mety mba hankalaza ny fitsingerenan'ny andro nahaterahanay any an-kafa fa tsy ao an-trano. |
24 | Dinner was always the same: Bite-sized sandwiches, zaatar, spinach and cheese, little pizzas which she would brag about being tastier than those bought at the market, taboula, a chocolate cake which had my name on it and candles. | Mitovy foana ny sakafo : mofo kely voasesika, zaatar, epinara sy fromazy, pizza kely izay ireharehany fa matsiro kokoa noho ny amidy eny an-tsena, taboula (karazana salady), mofo mamy vita amin'ny sôkôlà izay ahitàna ny anarako sy misy ireo labozia. |
25 | The house was tidied and she would invite a few relatives and friends. | Voalamina ny trano ary nanasa fianakaviana sy namana vitsivitsy izy. |
26 | There was a present. | Nisy ny fanomezana. |
27 | A necklace with a butterfly (when I was optimistic, I used to consider it a symbol of strength and femininity). | Vakana misy lolo ( fony aho mbola be fanantenana, dia noheveriko ho mariky ny hery sy ny maha-vehivavy izy io). |
28 | And my sister and I would agree on the gift I wanted her to buy for me. | Ary nifanaraka izaho sy ny rahavaviko ny amin'izay fanomezana hovidiany ho ahy. |
29 | This year, my mother made the celebration even bigger. | Nataon'ny reniko nalaza kokoa ilay fankalazana tamin'ity taona ity. |
30 | She was happy I was fine. | Faly izy hoe salama tsara aho. |
31 | During the party she gently reproached me about the terror I had caused her. | Nanakiana ahy moramora momba ny horohoro nihatra taminy noho ny nataoko izy nandritra ny fety. |
32 | I blow out my candles, wishing for the revolution to succeed. | Notsofiko tamin'ny firariana ny hahombiazan'ny revolisiona ny laboziako. |
33 | They jokingly sing to me: “It was a black day when you were born.” | Nihira hanihany ho ahy ry zareo : ” Nanjombona ny andro tamin'ny nahaterahanao.” |
34 | And it seems that with time, I started to think that this is really the case. | Rehefa nandeha ny fotoana dia nanomboka nisaina aho fa izay no tena marina. |
35 | My wishes: the overthrow of Assad. | Ny faniriako : ny hionganan'i Assad. |
36 | I suspect none of the rebels expressed any other wish on their birthdays. | Heveriko fa tsy misy mpikomy na dia iray aza naniry zavatra hafa tamin'ny fitsingerenan'ny andro nahaterahany. |
37 | I then had another birthday with my friends, my childhood friends. | Avy eo, nanana fankalazana ny fitsingerenan'ny andro nahaterahako hafa niaraka tamin'ireo namako aho, ireo namako fahazaza. |
38 | On that day, we made light of our political differences and approached our intellectual arguments with some timidity. | Tamin'io andro io, tsy nomenay lanja ny fahasamihafana ara-politika eo aminay ary nifanakalo hevitra tsy tamim-pahatsorana izahay. |
39 | We blew out my birthday candles for the last time. | Izay no farany nitsofinay ny labozian'ny fitsingerenan'ny andro nahaterahako. |
40 | August 12, 2012 | 12 Aogositra 2012 |
41 | After my mother died it didn't feel appropriate to celebrate in the house without her. | Taorian'ny nahafatesan'ny reniko, tsapako fa tsy mety ny manao fankalazàna ao an-trano tsy misy azy. |
42 | I was still wearing black. | Mbola miakanjo mainty aho. |
43 | My childhood friends forgot-or pretended to forget-my birthday. | Adinon'ireo namako fahazaza- na niniana nohadinoina- ny fitsingerenan'ny andro nahaterahako. |
44 | The fear of being associated with me became the defining factor in our relationship. | Ny tahotra ny hifamatopatotra amiko no manjary zava-dehibe mamaritra ny fifandraisanay. |
45 | Our differences became political. | Nanjary fahasamihafàna ara-politika ny fahasamihafanay. |
46 | It became a sharp ethical difference, which could no longer be bridged with humour or even sarcasm. | Tonga fahasamihafana ara-poto-kevitra mampisaraka izay tsy voaonitry ny vazivazy, eny hatramin'ny fanesoana aza izany. |
47 | In the morning I had to attend the weekly interrogation at the political security branch. | Ny maraina, tsy maintsy niatrika ny fakàna am-bavany isan-kerinandro tany amin'ny sampan-draharaha misahana ny fiarovana ara-politika aho. |
48 | I told the interrogator how ridiculous it was for this to happen on my birthday, and he laughed stupidly. | Nolazaiko tamin'ny mpaka am-bavany fa tena mampihomehy ny nanaovana izany amin'ny fitsingerenan'ny andro nahaterahako, ary nihomehy kidaladala izy. |
49 | The celebrations were with a new group of friends I had got to know in the relief schools after half of Aleppo was liberated and the other half turned to providing relief aid. | Niaraka tamin'ireo vondronà namana vaovao izay vao fantatro tamin'ireo sekolin'ny toby fanampiana taorian'ny nahafahan'ny antsasak”i Allepo sy ny nironan'ny antsasany iray ho amin'ny famonjena ny maha-olona ny fankalazàko ny andro nahaterahako. |
50 | My wishes were for Bashar Al Assad to leave, for the bombing of Aleppo to stop and for the exhausting interrogations to end. | Ny fialàn'i Bashar Al Assad, ny fijanonan'ny daroka baomba any Aleppo ary ny hifaranan'ny fakàna am-bavany mandreraka no firariako. |
51 | I blew my candles out for the last time in my family home in Western Aleppo, which is until today under the control of the regime and which I can't even visit. | Izay no fotoana farany nitsofako ny laboziako tao an-tranon'ny fianakaviako tany andrefan'i Allepo, izay tsy azoko tsidihana hatramin'izao fa mbola fehezin'ny fitondràna. |
52 | August 12, 2013 | 12 Aogositra 2013 |
53 | I have been living in the liberated part of Aleppo for a while, surrounded by wonderful friends whom I called during war the “full half of the glass.” | Monina any amin'ny faritra afaka any Allepo aho, efa fotoana elaela izay ary voahodidina namana mahafinaritra nantsoiko hoe ny ” vera feno tapany” nandritra ny ady. |
54 | They are still today how they've always been. | Tsy miova ry zareo fa mbola toy ny taloha ihany. |
55 | They are friends who don't know anything about my childhood and have never visited my family home-all that unites us is the revolution. | Namana tsy mahalala na inona na inona momba ny fahazazako sady tsy mbola nitsidika ny tranom-pianakaviako ireo- fa ny mampivondrona anay dia ny revolisiona. |
56 | On that day, the ISIS started its first kidnappings in my city. | Nanomboka ny fakàna an-keriny voalohany tao amin'ny tànanako ny ISIS tamin'io andro io. |
57 | The previous day, Abu Maryam had disappeared and we did not know anything about the faction that took him and if he really was kidnapped. | Ny omalin'io dia tsy hita i Abu Maryam ary tsy nahafantatra izay vondrona naka azy izahay na tena nalaina an-keriny marina izy. |
58 | On my birthday, a “black day” like the all the previous ones, Samar and Mohammed were kidnapped by the ISIS. | ” Andro manjombona” tahaka ny teo aloha ny fitsingerenan'ny andro nahaterahako, nalaina'ny ISIS an-keriny i Samar sy Mohammed. |
59 | They are still missing. | Mbola tsy hita izy ireo hatramin'izao. |
60 | The celebrations were interrupted by the sounds of explosions, which we have become used to and which did not bother us at all. | Notapahan'ny feonà fipoahana izay efa zary mahazatra anay sy tsy manelingelina anay loatra ny fankalazàna. |
61 | The sweets on offer were modest. | Tsotra ny mamy natolotra. |
62 | The bouquet of flowers would have, for some reason, looked normal at a funeral. | Ohatra ny natao ho entina handevina ilay fehezam-boninkazo, noho ny antony maro. |
63 | They brought me another bouquet through the dangerous crossing which you could have been sniped at for just crossing it. | Nitondran-dry zareo fehezam-boninkazo iray hafa namakivaky ilay fiampitàna mampidi-doza izay mety hahafaty raha vao iampitàna fotsiny aho. |
64 | My friend crossed it to celebrate my birthday with me. | Namakivaky izany ilay namako mba hiara-mankalaza amiko ny fitsingerenan'ny andro nahaterahako . |
65 | My wishes were to return to the Aleppo I knew, for Abu Maryam to be fine, and for the ISIS to disappear from my life. | Ny hiverenako any amin'ilay Allepo fantatro fahiny no niriako, sy ho an'ny fahasalaman'i Abu Maryam ary ny tsy hahitako intsony ny ISIS. |
66 | My wishes were narrow, the size of my local concerns. | Bitika izany raha oharina amin'ny haben'ny olako eto an-toerana. |
67 | I was not able to have wishes which encompassed the whole nation. | Tsy afaka manao firariana mahenika ny firenena aho. |
68 | We did not blow out the candles because there was no electricity. | Tsy notsofinay ireo labozia satria tsy nisy herinaratra. |
69 | August 12, 2014 | 12 Aogositra 2014 |
70 | I am in Gaziantep, in Turkey, and can't return to Aleppo. | Aty Gaziantep, Tiorkia aho, ary tsy afaka hiverina any Aleppo. |
71 | I am obsessed with the person I love and worried about losing him. | Lasa adala amin'ilay olon-tiako sy matahotra ny hamoy azy aho. |
72 | Nothing in me is healthy, if it is correct to say so. | Tsy misy na inona na inona salama ato anatiko, raha izay no azo ilazàna azy. |
73 | He summons all his powers to organise a surprise birthday for me. | Manambatra ny heriny rehetra izy hikarakarana fitsingerenan'ny andro nahaterahana tsy nampoiziko ho ahy. |
74 | He invites friends and some of his relatives. | Manasa ny namana sy fianakaviany vitsivitsy izy. |
75 | They buy presents and select a place. | Mividy fanomezana sy mifidy ny toerana izy ireo. |
76 | It's hard to come up with a surprise that would suit what we think is my “severe depression.” | Tena sarotra ny mamokatra fahagagana izay mifanaraka amin'ny heverintsika fa ” fahakiviako lalim-pàka”. |
77 | The moment I entered the party and saw them all, I wasn't overcome with joy. | Tamin'ny fotoana nidirako tao amin'ilay fety sy ny nahitako azy rehetra ireo, tena tsy safononoky ny hafaliana aho. |
78 | On the contrary, I was depressed. | Ny mifanohitra amin'izany aza, kizintina aho. |
79 | I reproached him unjustly, just like all my bouts of anger: “I told you I don't want to celebrate.” | Toy ny rehefa fisehon'ny hatezerako dia nokianiko tsy ara-drariny izy : “efa nolazaiko anao fa tsy mila fety aho “. |
80 | At that moment, the music starts. | Manomboka ny mozika tamin'izay fotoana izay. |
81 | The Turkish music startles me. | Mampitsamboatra ahy ny mozika tiorka. |
82 | I will never return to Aleppo. | Tsy hiverina any Allepo intsony aho. |
83 | I sit on a chair in the restaurant, surrounded by those many friends. | Mipetraka eo ambony seza ao amin'ilay trano fisakafoanana nohodidinin'ireo namana maro be aho. |
84 | I cry. | Mitomany migogogogo aho. |
85 | I break down. | Vala-ketraka. |
86 | I leave the party. | Nilaozako ilay fety. |
87 | August 12, 2015 | 12 Aogositra 2015 |
88 | It is a normal day. | Andro tsotra. |
89 | This is what I decided I would do to celebrate my birthday. | Izany no nankalazako ny fitsingerenan'ny taona nahaterahako. |
90 | Perhaps I have become used to life in exile. | Angamba efa zatra ny fiainana an-tsesitany aho. |
91 | In the morning, I have to attend a conference on the role of civil society. | Ny maraina, tsy maintsy manatrika ny valan-dresaka momba ny andraikitry ny fiarahamonim-pirenena aho. |
92 | In the afternoon, I have a session with my therapist. | Ny tolakandro, manana fotoana amin'ny mpitsabo ahy aho. |
93 | And at night, I will meet with friends where we will have political discussions about the Turkish currency, the buffer zone and the protests in the coastal areas. | Ary ny alina, hihaona amin'ireo namana izay hiarahana miady hevitra politika momba ny vola Tiorka, ny faritra tsy ahitàna miaramila ary ireo hetsi-panoherana any amin'ny faritra amorontsiraka. |
94 | Nothing personal at all. | Tsy misy zavatra manokana avy aty amiko amin'ny ankapobeny. |
95 | No wishes. | Tsy misy firariantsoa. |
96 | No candles. | Tsy misy labozia. |