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1Syria: I Am Aleppo, Aleppo Is MeSyria: Izaho No Aleppo, Aleppo Dia Izaho
2This post is part of a special series of articles by blogger and activist, Marcell Shehwaro, describing the realities of life in Syria during the ongoing armed conflict between forces loyal to the current regime, and those seeking to oust it.Iray amin'ireo andian-dahatsoratra manokana nosoratan'i Marcell Shehwaro, mpitoraka bilaogy sady mpitolona, mitantara ny zava-misy marina amin'ny fiainana any Syria nandritra ny ady mitam-piadiana nifanaovan'ny tafika mpiara-dia amin'ny fitondrana sy ireo mikatsaka ny fanesorana azy ity lahatsoratra ity.
3Marcell Shehwaro at the funeral of her mother, who was killed at a Syrian regime forces' checkpoint in June 2012.Marcell Shehwaro tany amin'ny fandevenana ny reniny, izay maty teo amin'ny toeram-pisavàn'ny tafika Syriana tamin'ny Volana Jona 2012.
4Fellow activists paid tribute by carrying red roses.Ireo mpiara-mitolona manome voninahitra amin'ny fitondràna raozy mena.
5Image courtesy Marcell Shehwaro.Sary avy amin'i Marcell Shehwaro.
6Who am I?Iza aho ?
7I have always considered this the most difficult question to answer or write about, especially today, three years from the start of the Syrian revolution.Noheveriko mandrakariva fa io no fanontaniana faran'izay saro-baliana na soratana, indrindra amin'izao fotoana izao, telo taona taorian'ny nanombohan'ny fitakiana fiovàna Syriana.
8The truth is that I don't really know how much I resemble the young woman I was before.Raha ny marina dia tsy tsy fantatro intsony hoe toa an'iza ilay izaho fahiny, ilay vehivavy tanora.
9Writing for Global Voices could be an opportunity for me to reaquaint myself with myself, or at least remind myself of who this person whom I live with, and who is me, has become.Ho ahy ny fanoratana ho an'ny Global Voices dia fotoana hamerenako mifamatotra amin'izay mombamomba ahy, na fara-faharatsiny mampahatsiahy ahy ny niafaran'io olona miara-miaina amiko io, ary iza moa aho.
10Today I am 29 years old.29 taona aho amin'izao fotoana izao.
11My name is Marcell. The name means “young warrior”.Marcell no anarako izay midika hoe ” Tanora mpiady”.
12I come from a small family.Avy aminà fianakaviana kely no nipoirako.
13My late father, may God have mercy on his soul, was an Orthodox priest.Pretra Ortodoksa ny raiko (efa maty), Hamindra fo amin'ny fanahiny anie Andriamanitra.
14And my late mother, may God have mercy on her soul too, was a housewife and a great mother.Ary mpikarakara tokantrano sy renibe ny reniko (efa maty), Andriamanitra anie hamindra fo amin'ny fanahiny ihany koa.
15I studied dentistry in the city of Aleppo until I reached a point where I realised that I was more concerned with social issues.Nianatra ho mpitsabo nify tao amin'ny tanànan'i Aleppo aho mandra-pahatsapako fa ny resaka sosialy no mety amiko.
16I left medicine and I studied political science - international relations and diplomacy, to be more precise.Nilaozako ny fianarana ho mpitsabo ary nianatra siansa politika aho- ny marina kokoa dia ny fifandraisana iraisam-pirenena sy ny diplomasia.
17I cannot introduce myself without telling you about my city, Aleppo, as the two of us are exactly alike: worn down, exhausted, full of fire, full of the desire to live, confused.Tsy afaka milaza ny mombamomba ahy aho raha tsy tantaraiko anareo ny momba ny tanànako, Aleppo, satria tena mitovy izahay roa, samy rava, reraka, feno afo, feno hetaheta ho velona, mikorontan-tsaina.
18Aleppo is the second largest city in Syria. According to statistics, its population used to be 5 million.Tanàna faharoa lehibe, misy mponina 5 tapitrisa araka ny tatitra amin'ny atontan'isa, any Syria i Aleppo.
19I am not sure how many of them still remain, and how many refugees from other places have come to live here.Ny tsy azoko antoka dia ny hoe firy tamin'ireo no nitoetra ary firy ireo mpialokaloka tnga avy any an-toerana hafa ka mivelona eto.
20I discovered my ability to express myself orally and in writing from a young age.Tsapako ny fahakingako amin'ny fanehoako hevitra am-bava sy an-tsoratra hatramin'ny naha-tanora.
21It could be a characteristic I inherited from my father.Mety ho toetra nolovaiko tamin'ny raiko io.
22I enjoyed writing essays at school, a chore other students considered boring.Nahafinaritra ahy ny nianatra nanoratra tantara tany an-tsekoly, asa mafy sy mahasorena ho an'ny mpianatra sasany.
23I read everything that fell into my hands.Vakiako daholo izay tonga eo an-tànako.
24I also used to write on anything I could write on: bills, tissue paper in restaurants and in the margins of books I was reading.Manana fahazarana ihany koa aho manoratra amin'izay rehetra azoko hanoratana : faktiora, taratasy famaohana any amin'ny trano fisakafoanana, ny sisin'ny boky izay vakiako.
25And when blogging arrived, naturally, I took it up.Ary rehefa tonga ny bilaogy, mazava ho azy, noraisiko.
26And this is what happened.Ary izany izao mitranga izao.
27I started blogging in 2008.Nanomboka nitoraka bilaogy aho tamin'ny 2008.
28At the time, I had friends who were paying the price of freedom of speech in Syrian regime prisons.Tamin'izany fotoana izany, nanana namana nanefa ny vidin'ny fahalalahan'ny fanehoan-kevitra tany am-ponjan'ny fitondrana Syriana aho.
29This was enough for freedom of speech to become my mission, which turned me into a regime opponent early on.Ampy nahatonga ny fahalalahan'ny fanehoan-kevitra ho iraka efaiko io, izay mahatonga ahy ho mpanohitra ny fitondrana hatrany am-boalohany.
30An opponent of a regime that supressed general freedom and civil life.Fahavalon'ny fitondràna iray izay nanakana ny fahalalahana ankapobeny sy ny fiainan'ny olona.
31When the revolution started in Egypt, it paralysed our ability to mobilise ourselves in any other direction except towards our hope that a revolution would take place in Syria too.Nampikatso anay tsy hihetsika amin'ny lafiny rehetra, afa-tsy ny fanantenanay fa hisy fitakiana fiovana ihany koa any Syria, ny fitakiana fiovana tany Ejipta.
32So without further thought, I joined the revolutionary wave.Noho izany tsy nisy fieritreretana intsony fa tonga dia niaraka tamin'io onjan'ny fitakiana fiovana io aho.
33At first, I wrote about it.Nanoratra ny momba an'io aho tany am-boalohany.
34Then, I joined the protests.Avy eo, nanatevin-daharana ny mpanao hetsi-panoherana aho.
35I still remember the feeling of euphoria mixed with worry, and the fear and embarrassment that at the back of my throat as I chanted, “The people want to overthrow the regime!”Mbola tadidiko ihany ny fahatsapako ilay hafaliana miaro fitaintainana, ny tahotra sy ny zavatra manelingelina ahy tao an-tendako rehefa nihiaka ny hoe ” Tian'ny vahoaka hiendaka ny fitondràna!” .
36During one protest, volleys of bullets started raining on us from the Syrian security forces' firearms, and those around me began running.Nandritra ny hetsika iray, nisy bala nipatrapatraka avy amin'ny basin'ny tafika Syriana teo amboninay, ary nanomboka nihazakazaka ireo nanodidina ahy.
37I discovered then that I am one of those people who is paralysed by fear, which prevents me from moving and turns me into an obstacle for those trying to run away.Hitako avy eo fa iray tamin'ireo olona ankon'ny tahotra aho izany no tsy nahafahako nihetsika ka tahy ho sakana ho an'ireo izay te-handositra.
38My friends grabbed my hands and pulled me away to protect me, and since that time I have been collecting stories about being on the verge of death, injury or arrest, and how people more rational than I would intervene and rescue me.Nosintonin'ny namako tamin'ny tanako aho dia notaritiny handositra ho fiarovana ahy, ary nanomboka tamin'izay fotoana izay dia nanangona tantara momba izany hoe eo amoron-tevan'ny fahafatesana aho, maratra na voasambotra, ary ny fomba firotsak'ireo olona misaina kokoa miohatra amiko miditra an-tsehatra sy manavotra ahy.
39It took some time for the Syrian secret service to develop a dossier on me, especially considering that there is at least one informant for every 10 Syrians.Mbola mila fotoana maharitra ny sampam-pitsikilovana Syriana amin'ny famoronana ny antotan-taratasy mikasika ahy, indrindra fa misy mpanome vaovao iray isaky ny Syriana 10 fara-faharatsiny.
40During that period, and after a year of protests and listening to advice on being careful from family and friends, the turning point arrived: my mother was martyred at a Syrian regime forces' checkpoint in Aleppo.Nandritra izay fotoana izay, sy herintaona taorian'ny fihainoana ny torohevitry ny fianakaviana sy ny namana mba ho malina hatrany dia tonga taminà fiolana-dàlana aho : nampijaliana teo amin'ny toeram-pisafoan'ny tafika tany Aleppo ny reniko.
41I lost a part of me forever.Very mandrakizay ny ilako.
42Because of the amazing funeral, attended by many revolutionaries who carried my pain with red roses, the authorities began calling me in and interrogating me about my activism on a weekly basis.Nanomboka niantso ahy ny manam-pahefana ary nanadihady ahy momba ny asako isan-kerinandro, noho ilay fandevenana mahavariana, natrehin'ireo mpitaky fiovana marobe izay niara-ory tamiko nitondra raozy mena.
43At that time, the armed revolution was edging closer to Aleppo. At the time, I was against armament in all its forms.Tamin'izay fotoana izay, nanakaiky an'i Alepo ny fitakiam-piovàna mitàm-piadiana, ary tamin'izay ihany koa no nanoherako ny fitaovam-piadiana amin'ny endriny rehetra.
44I believed peaceful change would guarantee Syrians their rights and result in the smallest number of sacrifices.Nino aho fa mety ho antoka hananan'ny Syriana ny zony sy hahavitsy ny isan'ireo maty ny fiovàna am-pilaminana.
45In fact, large portions of my city have already been liberated, except for my neighbourhood and the places I am familiar with, which have remained under the Syrian regime's control.Amin'ny ankapobeny dia efa afaka ny ampahany betsaka amin'ny tanànako, ankoatra ny vakim-paritra misy ahy sy ireo toerana mahazatra ahy izay mbola eo ambany fifehezan'ny fitondrana Syriana.
46When the interrogations became more serious, and it looked inevitable that I would soon be arrested, I decided to accept a scholarship to study for a Masters degree in human rights in the UK.Rehefa niha-matotra hatrany ny fanadihadiana, ary toy ny tsy azo ialana fa akaiky ny fisamborana ahy, dia nanaiky ny vatsim-pianarana hianatra amin'ny ambaratonga ambony any Angletera aho.
47Like any survivor of bloody events such as I have witnessed, during that year I returned to Syria over and over again, to Aleppo, driven by guilt.Toy ireo sisa velona tamin'ireo fotoana nohoson-drà izay hitako, niverina matetika tany Syrira, tany Aleppo, nentin'ny fahatsiarovan-tena ho meloka aho nandritra iny taona iny.
48I moved from one friend's house to the other, as it was dangerous for me to return to my own home, until my friends' lives, too, became endangered as a result of their association with an activist like me.Nifindrafindra tamin'ny tranon'ireo namako aho mandra-pahatandindonin-doza ny fiainan'izy ireo noho ny fiarahany amin'ny mpitolona tahaka ahy satria loza ho ahy ny miverina any an-tranoko.
49I was then forced to make what was obviously the right decision, and moved to the liberated part of Aleppo, leaving behind friends, family, memories, my home and the two graves of my parents.Avy eo, voatery aho nandray fanapahan-kevitra matotra, tena marina, ary nifindra tany amin'ilay faritra efa afaka tao Aleppo, nilaozako ny namako, ny fianakaviako, ireo fahatsiarovako rehetra, ny tranoko sy ny fasana misy ireo ray aman-dreniko.
50In short, most of the life I was used to.Raha fintinina dia ny ankamaroan'ny fiainana nahazatra ahy.
51Living alone as an activist during wartime, alone and away from family and familiar surroundings, posed new challenges.Fanamby vaovao hafa indray ny miaina toy ny mpikomy mafana fo nandritra ny fotoanan'ny ady, ny miaina irery ary lavitry ny fianakaviana sy ireo tontolo manodidina mahazatra.
52I had moved to an area which I knew nothing about, except that the regime's security apparatus had no presence there.Nifindra tany amin'ny faritra izay tsy misy na inona na inona fantatro aho afa-tsy ny tsy nahitàna fisian'ny tafi-piarovan'ny fitondrana.
53But it wasn't free of all the other forms of death.Saingy tsy mbola afaka amin'ny endrika fahafatesana rehetra akory izy io.
54As one of the very few unveiled women in conservative and humble surroundings, among people who are very kind, despite the violence of their environment, I sometimes suffer from petrifying loneliness.Satria iray amin'ireo vehivavy vitsivitsy tsy misarom-boaly ao anaty tontolo mpitahiry ny ela sady tsotra aho, anivon'ireo olona maha-te ho tia na dia eo aza ny herisetran'ny tontolo misy azy ireo, indraindray mahatsiaro fa tena ho irery aho.
55I live with the constant fear of being kidnapped.Miaina ao anaty tahotra ny hisy haka an-keriny foana aho.
56At times I can withstand it, but at others I break down in exhaustion.Indraindray mahatohitra aho, fa indraindray anefa reraka ihany koa.
57I am surrounded by stories of heroes whose heroism might inspire others to effect change themselves.Voahodidin'ny tantaran'ireo mahery fo izay herim-po mety hakàn'ireo hafa te-hiaina fiovana aingam-panahy aho.
58Because of all this, and because our daily lives are full of events which may not be enough for one lifetime, I have decided to write for you.Noho ireo rehetra ireo, sy noho ny fiainanay andavan'andro feno zava-mitranga izay tsy ho ampy ho an'ny fotoana hiainana, dia nanapa-kevitra ny hanoratra ho anareo aho.
59My articles will some times be about my everyday life. At other times they'll touch upon memories and what we would love our lives to be like, despite the horrors we see.Mahakasika ny fiainako andavan'andro ny lahatsoratra soratako matetika, fa indraindray mikasika ireo fahatsiarovana sy ny tokony hitiavanay ny fiainanay araka izay isehoany, na dia eo aza ny zava-mahatsiravina izay hitanay.
60You are free to choose to sympathise with me, or be harsh with your judgements.Malalaka ny safidinao na hifampitsetsetra miaraka amiko na ho hentitra amin'ny fitsarànao.
61But my hope is that what I relate to you reflects some of the dream, the desire to change, and the trust that this change is possible, as far-fetched or painful as that dream might be.Fa ny fanantenako dia mba ho taratra amin'ireo ambarako aminareo ny sasany amin'ny nofinofy, ny faniriana fiovàna ary fahatokiana fa mety hisy io fiovàna io, na dia sarotra visaina sy mety maharary aza izay nofy izay.
62Marcell Shehwaro blogs at marcellita.com and tweets at @Marcellita, both primarily in Arabic.Mpitolona mafana fo sady mpitoraka bilaogy marcellita.com, ary mibitsika amin'ny @Marcellita i Marcell Shehwaro, amin'ny fiteny Arabo.