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1 | The Funeral That Brought Syria's Revolutionaries to a Church with Red Roses | Fandevenana Nitondra Ireo Mpitaky Fanovàna Ao Syria Hankany Am-piangonana Niaraka Taminà Raozy Mena |
2 | At Marcell Shehwaro's mother's funeral, friends and revolutionaries from across Aleppo turned up wearing white and carrying red roses in their hands. | Tamin'ny fandevenana ny renin'i Marcell Shehwaro, tonga nanatrika, nanao akanjo fotsy ary nitazona raozy mena teny an- tànany, ireo namana sy mpitaky fiovàna rehetra avy any Aleppo. |
3 | This post is part of a special series of articles by blogger and activist, Marcell Shehwaro, describing the realities of life in Syria during the ongoing armed conflict between forces loyal to the current regime, and those seeking to oust it. | Ampahany amin'ireo andian-dahatsoratra manokan'ilay mpitoraka bilaogy sady mpikatroka mafana fo, Marcell Shehwaro, ity lahatsoratra ity, mampiseho ny fiainana misy marina any Syria mandritra ilay fifandirana mitam-basy amin'izao fotoana izao, eo amin'ireo hery mpiara-dia amin'ny fanjakana ankehitriny, sy ireo mitady hanaisotra azy io. |
4 | Perhaps I have overwhelmed you with the details of my personal loss, telling you in a previous article the story of my mother and the murderer that grew in me after she was killed. | Mety efa nototofako tamin'ny antsipirihan'ny fahavoazako samirery angamba ianareo, nilazako taminareo tao amin'ny lahatsoratra teo aloha ny tantaran'ny reniko sy ilay mpamono olona nirongatra ato anatiko taorian'ny namonoana azy. |
5 | But today I don't think I can talk about what's going on in Syria without conveying to you the cries of the victims, and their pain. | Fa androany, tsy mino aho hoe afaka ny hilaza ny zavatra miseho ao Syria raha tsy milaza aminareo ny ranomason'ireo tra-boina sy ny fahoriany. |
6 | Today I shall tell you about the night of the incident. | Androany, holazaiko aminareo ny alina nitrangan'ilay loza. |
7 | I had lingered late at a friend's house, discussing revolutionary ideas, when my mobile phone rang. | Taraiky nikirimbarimba tany an-tranon'ny namako aho, niresaka ny hevitra ho an'ny fiovàna, raha naneno ny findaiko. |
8 | On the line was the terrified voice of my sister: “Mom is in hospital, she's been shot.” | Reko tao ny feon'ny anabaviko feno tahotra: “Any amin'ny hôpitaly i mama, voatifitra izy.” |
9 | In the few minutes it took to get to her, thoughts collided in my head. | Tao anatin'ireo minitra vitsy nandehanako hankany aminy, maro ny eritreritra nibosesika tao an-dohako tao. |
10 | Will she make it? | Ho tafavoaka amin'io ve izy? |
11 | Am I to blame for all this pain? | Izaho ve no tokony hohelohina amin'izany fahoriana rehetra izany? |
12 | Did they murder her because she's my mother? | Novonoin'izy ireo ve izy satria reniko? |
13 | To protect myself against the feelings of guilt I wished it was I who had been shot. | Mba hiarovako ny tenako amin'ny fanamelohan-tenako, naniry mafy aho hoe tokony mba izaho no voatifitra. |
14 | Were they our bullets?? | Balanay ve no nanaovany izany?? |
15 | Or their bullets? | Sa balan-dry zareo? |
16 | I didn't know. | Tsy fantatro. |
17 | At that point I didn't imagine it made a difference which party caused the death. | Tamin'izany, tsy noeritreretiko akory hoe misy fahasamihafàny hoe antokon'iza ny nahavanona ilay fahafatesana. |
18 | When I arrived at the hospital I was supposed to approve the decision whether they should operate, but before I managed to answer, they told me she was dead. | Rehefa tonga tany amin'ny hôpitaly aho, noeritreretina ho izaho no hanao ny fanekena ny fanapahankevitra raha tokony handidy azy izy ireo, nefa talohan'ny valintey tokony nomeko, nilaza tamiko izy ireo fa maty izy. |
19 | My mother was martyred on that day. | Natao maritiora tamin'io daty io ny reniko. |
20 | I don't know how I managed to shed my humanity so quickly. | Tsy haiko hoe ahoana no nahavitàko nanary haingana be ny maha olona ahy. |
21 | I kept it for later. | Notazoniko ho an'ny any aoriana izany. |
22 | I didn't cry as much as I wanted: my conscience was saturated with the revolution, it was my cross, the one I- like thousands of Syrians-had to bear, so who am I to complain? | Tsy nitomany be araka ny faniriako aho: feno ilay resaka revôlisiôna ny eritreritro, io no hazo fijaliako, ny iray - sahala ny an'ireo Syriana an'arivony - tokony ho entiko, ka iza moa aho no hitaraina? |
23 | In those moments I realised my own selfishness. | Tao anatin'ireny fotoana ireny, nahatsiaro ny fitiavan-tenako samirery aho. |
24 | I realised the ugliness of the fear I caused my mother to feel each time I went to a protest-which she could always tell from the “casual” clothes I had on, or from my happiness when I returned home, or even as a result of my inability or reluctance to lie to her-and essentially faced my death. | Tsapako ny faharatsian'ny tahotra niainan'ny reniko isaky ny mandeha mamonjy fihetsiketsehana iray aho - izay nahitàny zavatra holazaina hatrany avy amin'ny fitafy “tsy mihaja” hanaovako, na avy amin'ny hafaliako rehefa tafaverina ao an-trano aho, na vokatry ny tsy fahafahako na tsy finiavako handainga aminy, ary indrindra ny hiatrika ny fahafatesako. |
25 | I don't know where I buried my emotions nor where I found the resolve that allowed me to decide I would not be silenced, and that even after my mother's death I would continue to be the daughter of my revolution, immune to tears, immune to mortification. | Tsy haiko hoe aiza no nandevenako ny fihetseham-poko, na hoe taiza no nahitako vahaolana nahatonga ahy hanapa-kevitra ny tsy hangina, ary na dia taorian'ny fahafatesan-dreniko aza, hitohy ho zanaka vavin'ilay revôlisiônako aho, tsy ho laitran-dranomaso, tsy ho laitran'ny fanapempoana. |
26 | Early the following morning I had to go and meet the officer in charge of the security checkpoint where my mother was killed. | Vao maraina ny ampitson'io, nila nandeha niresaka tany amin'ilay mpitandro filaminana niandraikitra ny fandriampahalemana tao amin'ny faritra nahafaty ny reniko aho. |
27 | He was a cold-blooded murderer, just like the regime that spawned him. | Mpamono olona ankitsirano izy, mitovy amin'ny fitondrana nametraka azy teo ihany. |
28 | He didn't even apologise. | Tsy mba niala tsiny akory izy. |
29 | He referred carelessly to the killing as “an individual mistake,” just like thousands of individual mistakes being made throughout the country, forgetting, or pretending to have forgotten that this particular “individual mistake” was a mother, was a history of love, compassion and memories, was a homeland for its family. | Nolazainy tsy tamim-piraharahiana ho toy “fahadisoan'olombelona” fotsiny ilay famonoana, sahala amin'ireo fahadisoan'olona an'arivony nisy nanerana ny firenena, ny fanandinoana, na fodiana nanadino fa io “fahadisoan'olombelona” lazainy io anie ka reny, tantaram-pitiavana iray, famindram-po sy fahatsiarovana, firenena ho an'ny fianakaviany. |
30 | But these people are used to assassinating homelands, so what's new? | Fa zatra mamono firenena ireo olona ireo, koa inona no vaovao amin'izany? |
31 | Afterwards I became the target of everybody's warnings, about what I should do and shouldn't say, of the fear that ran in the family, in the society. | Avy eo, lasa lasibatry ny fampitandreman'ny olona rehetra aho, amin'ny zavatra tokony ataoko sy ny zavatra tsy tokony teneniko, amin'ny tahotra mandeha ao amin'ny fianakaviana, any anaty fiarahamonina. |
32 | Despite the magnitude of my loss I sat in a corner and pitied them for being enslaved to these circles of fear; those who once were the closest of friends. | Na dia lehibe aza ny fahavoazako, nipetraka tery an-joron-trano aho ary nitsetra azy ireo noho izy ireo lasa andevon'ireo kiboriborin-tahotra ireo; ireo tena namana akaiky teo aloha. |
33 | I pitied their enslavement and loved them so much that I wished them freedom. | Nitsetra ny lasa naha andevo azy ireo aho ary nitia azy ireo fatratra ka naniry azy ireo ho afaka. |
34 | As for me, who used to dread my mother's tears if I were ever martyred, I had been freed from this fear. | Amiko indray, izay nitàna ny ranomason-dreniko, raha sanatria aho lasa maritiora teo, efa afaka tamin'io tahotra io aho. |
35 | In my head I was chanting revolutionary songs, songs I still recite in my head whenever life gets tougher. | Tao an-dohako, nihira ireo hiran'ny revôlisiôna aho, ireo hira izay tsy atsahatro tanisaina isaky ny miha sarotra ny fiainana. |
36 | Whenever I wish to remember who I really am I build a protective bubble around myself. | Isaky ny tia hahatsiaro hoe iza marina aho, manamboatra toerana miaro ny manodidina ahy aho. |
37 | I chanted that song my mom used to hate: “I'm going out to protest with my soul on my hand/And if I come back to you a martyr, mother, don't cry.” | Nihira izany hira tsy tian'ny reniko izany aho: “Andeha hivoaka aho hanao hetsi-panoherana miaraka amin'ny fanahiko sy ny tanako/Ary raha miverina aminareo lasa maritiora aho, ry Neny, aza mitomany.” |
38 | How ironic life is. | Tena maneso ny fiainana. |
39 | I used to face death almost daily, protesting in the most dangerous places, getting directly shot at-and yet I survive while she dies? | Zatra niatrika ny fahafatesana efa ho isan'andro aho, nanao fihetsiketsehana tamin'ireo toerana faran'izay mampidi-doza indrindra, voatifitra mivantana-ary mbola velona ihany aho fa izy kosa maty? |
40 | On the day of the funeral I had to think of everything. | Ny andron'ny fandevenana, nila nieritreritra ny zavatra rehetra aho. |
41 | How could the church become a space that preserved the dignity of all revolutionists regardless of their affiliations? | Ahoana ny fiangonana no lasa toerana mikolokolo ny toetra mendrik'ireo rehetra mpitaky fanovàna na avy aiza na avy aiza no niaviany ? |
42 | And how could I make the revolution look like the most beautiful bride to those who, having prejudged the revolution to be an affair of extremists with no room for anything different, have kept their distance in fear. | Ary ahoana no anaovako ny revolisiôna sahala amin'ny tsara indrindra amin'ireo vehivavy ampakarina, ho an'ireo izay nanana fitsaràna hoe resaky ny olona tsy mety miova hevitra ny revôlisiôna, ary tsy misy toerana ho an'ny zavatra hafa, ary nametraka elanelana noho ny tahotra izy ireo. |
43 | That's how I managed to choose white and red. | Izany no nahafahako nisafidy ny fotsy sy ny mena. |
44 | I asked the revolutionists to wear white, in contrast to the Christian friends and family who'd be dressed in black as is the custom at Christian funerals. | Nangataka ireo revôlisiônera aho mba hiakanjo fotsy, loko miavaka kely amin'ireo namana sy fianakaviana Kristianina izay hiakanjo mainty satria izay ny fomba fanao amin'ireo fandevenana Kristianina. |
45 | I also asked the revolutionists to each hold a red rose to demonstrate their compassion in a manner that everyone would understand and appreciate. | Nangataka ireo revôlisiônera tsirairay ihany koa aho mba hitondra raozy mena ho fanehoany ny fiaraha-miorin'izy ireo amin'ny fomba mora ho azo sy tian'ny olona rehetra. |
46 | On entering the church premises I was almost broken by the sight of a busload of security forces. | Tamin'ny fidirana tao an-trano fiangonana, saika nikorontana ihany aho nahita fiara lehibe feno mpitandro filaminana. |
47 | I don't know why my mother's funeral entailed an armed security presence. | Tsy fantatro hoe nahoana ny fandevenana ny reniko no ilàna fisianà mpitandro filaminana mitam-basy. |
48 | All of that would have broken me, had it not been for the revolutionary whiteness that embraced me. | Saika nampivaralila ahy izany rehetar izany, raha tsy noho ny fahafotsiana mangatsakatsaky ny revôlisiôna izay nanodidina ahy. |
49 | I don't know where all of those people came from, but all the love and acceptance they held brought me peace. | Tsy fantatro hoe avy aiza daholo ny niavian'ireo vahoaka rehetra ireo, fa nitondra ahy ho tony sy hilamina ny fitiavana sy ny fanekena nentin'izy ireo. |
50 | Revolutionists filling the steps of the church in their white shirts, holding their red roses up high, screaming freedom in silence and with reverence. | Tonga ireo revôlisiônera nitafy akanjo fotsin-dry zareo nameno ny tohotohotry ny fiangonana, nanandratra ho ambony tsara ireo raozy fotsy nentiny, nihiaka ny fahalalahana tao anatin'ny fahanginana ary fanajàna. |
51 | Hundreds of eyes beholding me, awaiting my signal to turn it into a protest, but they respect my grief and my decision. | Maso an-jatony mijery ahy, miandry ny famantarana avy aty amiko hanova io ho hetsi-panoherana, fa nanaja ny fahoriako sy ny fanapahan-kevitro izy ireo. |
52 | I don't know exactly how many were there, but on that day I felt that rebellious Aleppo was leaning over me and kissing my forehead, wiping my tears one by one. | Tsy fantatro mazava tsara hoe firy izy ireo no teo, fa tamin'io andro io, reko nitongilana taty amiko ireo mpitraotran'i Aleppo ary nanoroka ny handriko, namafa ny ranomasoko tsirairay avy. |
53 | On that day I learned the meaning of a band of revolutionists visiting a church for the first time, just to be with me, to offer me condolences; the meaning of girl wearing a head cover to sit on a church bench without feeling alienated or bizarre, because she's not alone there. | Tamin'io andro io, nahafantatra ny dikan'ny andianà revôlisionera niditra am-piangonana voalohany indrindra aho, mba hiaraka amiko fotsiny, mba hitondra fiaraha-miory amiko; ny dikan'ny vehivavy nisaron-doha nipetraka teo amin'ny dabiliom-piangonana ary tsy nahatsapa tena ho adala na hafahafa, satria tsy irery izy tao. |
54 | I learned what it means when they say the revolution “unites the Syrians”. | Fantatro hoe nona no dikany rehefa ry zareoilay miteny hoe “mampiray ny Syriana” ny revôlisiôna. |
55 | If the regime has stolen what's left of my family, the revolution gave me a family that is capable of unconditional love. | Raha nangalatra izay ambiny tafajanona tamin'ny fianakaviako ny fitondrana, ny revôlisiôna kosa nanome ahy fianakaviana afaka manome fitiavana tsy misy takalony. |
56 | Anyone can talk about sectarian cheers, and make claims about the nature of the Syrian conflict, but, deep inside, I trust that this revolution pulled us all out of the thousands of shells we used to hide in. | Ny olona rehetra afaka miresaka momba ny fifaliana any amin'ny sekta, ary manao fitarainana momba ny tena anton'ny fifandirana Syriana, saingy, raha tena zohiana lalina, mino aho fa namoaka antsika rehetra avy tao anatin'ny akora an'arivony nahazatra niafenana hatrizay io revôlisiôna io. |
57 | This grief has united us and reformed us in its essence. | Nampitambatra antsika ary nanavao antsika tamin'ny heriny ilay fahoriana. |
58 | Hundreds of red roses approached along with their holders. | Raozy an-jatony no nanatona niaraka tamin'ireo nitàna azy. |
59 | I wished I could thank each one of them. | Naniry ny hisaotra ny tsirairay amin'izy ireo aho. |
60 | I wished I could tell each one of them how much deeper the pain would have been if they hadn't been here. | Naniry ny hiteny amin'izy ireo aho hoe tena mafy tokoa ny fahoriana raha tsy teo izy ireo. |
61 | I wished I could catch the scent of majestic Aleppo in their tears, and dedicate this article to them, or to those among them who are still with us, as many of these revolutionists have died defending freedom. | Naniry ny haka ny hanitr'ilay Aleppo tsara indrindra tao amin'ny ranomasony aho, ary manolotra ity lahatsoratra ity ho azy ireo, na ho an'ireo olona sasany ao amin-dry zareo ka mbola miaraka aminay, satria efa maty tamin'ny fiarovana ny fahalalahana ny maro tamin'ireo mpitaky fanovàna ireo. |
62 | I smiled at them, proud of a revolution that gave birth to such heroes. | Nitsiky tamin'izy ireo aho, nirehareha tamin'ilay revôlisiôna niteraka ireo maherifo ireo. |
63 | I smiled at them, trying hard to disguise my tears with a feigned strength, for we should all “press hard on the wound and rise high” to avenge the blood of martyrs, the blood of my mother, of Mustafa and of Mahmoud. | Nitsiky tamin'izy ireo aho, niezaka mafy ny hanakona ny ranomasoko tamin'ny hery miafina, satria mila “manindry mafy ny ratrantsika isika ary mitraka ambony” mba hamaly faty ny ràn'ireo maritiora, ny ràn'ny reniko, ny an'i Mustafa sy an'i Mahmoud. |
64 | There is a vow that we took: “We will never forget a martyr's blood”. | Voady noraisintsika izany: “Tsy hanadno velively ny ràn'ireo maritiora isika”. |
65 | They approached the casket, all of them, and with that same beautiful serenity they laid their flowers on my mother's tomb. | Nanakaiky ny vatam-paty izy ireo, izy rehetra, ary miaraka amin'ny fitoniana tsara, nametraka ny voninkazony teo amin'ny fasan'ny reniko izy ireo. |
66 | I called out to her, inside me: “Mother, don't mind me, Syria is my mother”. | Niantso azy aho, tao anatiko: “Neny, aza misahirana amiko, Syria no reniko”. |
67 | We headed to the graveyard with them surrounding me, carrying my pain so it was lighter for me to bear. | Nankany amin'ny fasana izahay, nanodidina ahy izy ireo, nitondra ny fahoriako ka lasa maivamaivana amiko ny nitondra azy. |
68 | Afterwards they stayed with me, attending one and a half hours of rituals and prayers which they neither understood nor related to. | Avy eo, nijanona niaraka tamiko izy ireo, nanatrika fombafomba sy fivavahana nandritra ny adiny iray sy sasany, izay tsy azon'izy ireo na tsy nikasika azy ireo hatrizay. |
69 | I felt that they needed to pray as well, in their way. | Tsapako fa nilain'izy ireo ny nivavaka tahaka izany, tamin'ny fomban'izy ireo. |
70 | I asked them to read her the Fatiha. | Nangatahako izy ireo hamaky ny Fatiha ho an'i Neny. |
71 | I knew that inside each of their hearts there was enough purity to rest her soul. | Fantatro fa tany anatin'ny fon'izy ireo tsirairay avy, misy fahadiovana ampy tsara handrian'ny fanahin'ny reniko am-piadanana. |
72 | I prayed with them, in my faith and theirs. | Nivavaka niaraka tamin'izy ireo aho, tamin'ny finoako sy ny azy ireo. |
73 | Great is the debt I owe them, deep is my gratitude for their compassion, and dear to me is every tear they shed with me, and long-so long-is the road we still need to cross together, with whomever is left. | Lehibe tokoa ny trosa tokony hefaiko amin'izy ireo, lalina ny fankasitrahako ny fiantràn'izy ireo, ary lafo amiko ny ranomaso rehetra nalatsany niaraka tamiko, ary lavitra, tena mbola lavitra, ny làlana tokony mbola hiarahanay, miaraka amin'ireo efa lasa. |
74 | Marcell Shehwaro blogs at marcellita.com and tweets at @Marcellita, both primarily in Arabic. | Mibilaogy ao amin'ny marcellita.com i Marcell Shehwaro ary mibitsika ao amin'ny @Marcellita, samy amin'ny fiteny arabo no voalohany. |
75 | Read the other posts in the series here. | Vakio ato ny lahatsoratra hafa ao anatin'io andiany io. |